How to Ensure that Dating Partners Treat You Well

How do we ensure that the person we are dating treats us with kindness, generosity and respect? We teach others how to treat us by our example. By treating ourselves with respect, we teach others to treat us respectfully as well. This means that it is important not to speak badly about ourselves or say self-deprecating things. Saying "I'm fat" hurts you and hurts your relationship. It is not that we always feel confident, but, by saying unkind things about ourselves, we feel badly and we invite others to think or say those things about us as well.

We seek what we expect. If we want to receive better treatment and more love, we must learn to EXPECT it. We must be positive and act as if we expect warmth and love to come our way, because we are worth being loved.

We must know (or learn) what our true boundaries are--what feels ok to us and what does not. It is important to know what makes us feel unsafe, and what things we do not want to do. If we never compromise on those boundaries, our partner will know that to stay together he/she must operate within those boundaries.

Warmth, generosity and kindness are contagious. Be friendly, warm and loving, not only to your partner, but in the world as well. Treat the person who sells you coffee in the morning or the security desk attendant at your office with the same warmth and friendliness you would like to receive. Open your heart and love will come to you--from the person you are dating and from the world.

For more personalized help, read more about Therapy and Coaching for Men, Therapy and Coaching for Women and Dating Coaching.  Or, call me today to set up an appointment. (212) 579-6531.