How to Survive a Painful Breakup and Be Happy Once Again


You just broke up with your significant other and you feel sad, sick, angry and your zest for life is gone.  Instead of getting your work done you find your mind wandering to happy moments with your ex.  Instead of sleeping you feel restless.  Instead of eating nutritious meals you aren't hungry at all or feel a sudden urge to eat an entire container of ice-cream. Instead of going out with your friends you stay home looking at your ex's social media, watching bad tv, or shopping online.

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It is extremely painful to end a relationship with someone you love.  Even if you weren't getting along and were fighting all the time, the end of a relationship is a significant loss.  You have lost someone very important to you.  Think of it as a death--the death of your very important relationship. You feel unbearably sad.  That is normal.

So, how do you manage the pain and how do you move forward with your life?

The key is to be kind to yourself and give yourself time.  You will be sad for awhile.  But, while you are feeling sad you can do some things to move yourself forward toward happiness.  Do not spend all of your time alone.  This is the time to reach out to family and friends.  Let them try to cheer you up.  Do some activities that help you to feel happy and relaxed. Physical activity can produce endorphins in your brain--the happiness hormones.  Go to the gym, take a yoga class, go dancing, biking, running, even a brisk walk.  You must move around--don't just sit on the couch or in front of the tv or computer.  And, don't check your ex's social media.  People post happy and positive things--you will think your ex is doing great while you are suffering.  This is probably not reality.

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Remember all of the things about you that make you feel happy, that make you feel like yourself again and alive.  The more you focus on doing those positive things instead of ruminating about your ex, the faster you will truly be happy once more.  And, maybe you don't feel like it right now, but soon, you can begin dating again.

You can read more about how I can help you with Counseling for Women or Counseling for Men.

If you've recently broken up with someone and would like some support, give me a call at (212) 579-6531 or send me an email.

Posted on July 28, 2013 and filed under Counseling for Women, Counseling for Men.