Your Relationship Guide for Getting Through the Holidays

the holidays, christmastime, christmas, chanukah, new year's eve

The holidays amplify the quality of relationships we are in and they intensify the absence of the relationships we wish we had.
What that means is that if you have good, loving, supportive, happy relationships with your family, friends and significant other, those warm and fuzzy feelings will be amplified during the holidays. Lucky you!
However, if your relationships are ridden with conflict, strife, sadness, frustration, disappointment, or, if you do not have a significant relationship that you desire, your feelings of unhappiness, sadness and loneliness will be intensified as well.
How do you get through the holidays with these intensified negative feelings?  The good news is that the holidays are time-limited.  They will end.  And so will your intensified negative feelings. So, your stepped-up plan of action needs to cover only a few weeks of time.
This is the time to seek out the positive people in your life who make you feel good. There is no rule that says you must spend the holidays with your own family.  Your "chosen family" can consist of friends and acquaintances who fill in those spaces and give you the love and support you need.
Also, activities that make you feel relaxed and content are extremely important to get though this time of year. Whether that is yoga, the gym, dancing, meeting a friend for coffee, going to a movie, walking through your favorite part of an art museum, cooking, listening to your favorite songs, bundling up and taking a walk in the cold but fresh air.  Whatever activities you enjoy: make a list so that at any given moment when the negative feelings are the strongest, you have an arsenal of activities to protect yourself.
As painful as these negative and disappointing feelings can be they do offer you one gift.  They remind you of what you do want in your life, what relationships you would like to improve or create.  Don't push those thoughts away!  Use them to take your power back and create the life and relationships you want and need. Strike while the iron is hot!
If you would like a personalized plan to get through the holidays or to improve and create the relationships you desire, you can read more about how I can help you with Counseling for Women or Counseling for Men or, you can contact me today.

Posted on December 22, 2013 and filed under Counseling for Women, Counseling for Men.